Center of the Universe?

All kids seem to think they are the center of the universe, don't they?  And for their first few weeks, they certainly are for their parents and the assorted others who help care for them and ooh and ahh over them.  But time passes, and other responsibilities - like other children, jobs, pets, laundry and all manner of chores - start impinging on that little person's "me-ness".  So when a little one is no longer the center of their adult's universe, they usually let someone know about it - loud and clear!  (Well, most kids do - Greg didn't but that is because he had a paralyzed vocal chord - and that is a topic for another blog!)


As kids grow they start to learn that there are other people, things and places in the world besides themselves, and they eventually learn ways to cope with no longer being the center of all activity.  Blind children, however, have a harder time learning these coping skills.  Their world ends at their finger tips, and it's difficult to get that wider sense of the big universe out there and the spacial relationships of their place in that world.  Plus, they get SO MUCH adult attention!  Added to that, small children usually play visually - if you don't believe me just sit down and watch a preschool class sometime.  Their ability to see something they want - to play with, to eat, to touch, or whatever - far exceeds their ability to express those wants in words.  They go get what they want, they lift their hands up to their parent or caregiver to be picked up and held: they see and then they do.


Blind and visually impaired children tend to only explore the space directly around them, so adults put them in the center of a pile of toys!  The toys come to them - they don't go to get the toys!  Their food arrives in front of them on a plate or a tray or a bowl - they don't see the food and "ask" for it!  They don't see their mother cutting up their lunch into bite sized bits.  That's the way food comes.  It ARRIVES in front of them, all cut up and ready to eat!  They must be the center of the universe!


Sighted children don't know how to play with a blind child, and a blind child doesn't know how to play with a sighted child unless that sighted child is particularly astute, or they get a lot of help from adults learning how to play together.  Normal peer interactions are already being interfered with at the preschool level.  It makes learning how to make friends pretty difficult.  Being the "center of the universe", or COU for short, sometimes creates kids who lack empathy, are control freaks, like to order people - even the adults in their world - around, and speak in declamatory sentences.  I don't remember any particular phrase Greg used a lot, but we used "COU" back to him with great frequency!


Kids need to understand that they need to be patient while waiting for someone to finish what they are working on so the other person can pay attention to them.  Blind children can't often tell that someone else is doing anything at all - for instance reading - and so they have little notion of interrupting someone else's activities.  They need to know that you are not available every second of every day.  I drew the line on the bathroom eventually.  My kids were not to try to talk with me while in was in the bathroom except for two reasons: the house was on fire, or someone was REALLY hurt.


All this might not seem to have a practical application, but I would contend that a person who is pleasant to be around, is considerate of other's feelings, and tries to solve their own problems before burdening others is one who might get to keep their job a little longer than someone who is very "high maintenance".  It will pay fantastic dividends if you do the work to help your child understand that they are part of a community and that we all work together for the success of all - whether they are blind or not!